My journal is current (more or less).
The "date" for this is blog arbitrary. I wanted it at the "beginning" of my blog and out of the way. My blog won't necessarily reflect my mood. My journal will.
Some things in here will be experimental.
Entries are in blog order - most recent at the top. If you comment - please tell me the dates of what you are refering to. If you say "I agree with that." but give me no date of reference I won't know what you are talking about.
My first entry explains the origin of this journal.
Aug 09 -I <3>
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Pat_Metheny
I found that guitar on the Net. It's called Pikasso. What a weird guitar. I was curious about it. I googled and went to wikipedia and learned that Pat Metheny plays one. I may have to make a wikipedia t-shirt for myself. What a great site.
Aug 07 - "buriko"
I went to a coffee place and there was a funny couple. College age. He was a good looking guy with a bit of muscle tone. I bet he could do pretty well with the girls. I wonder if he does. His girl was a tiny bit chubby.
For Tokyo they were a bit of an usual couple. Japanese college guys tend to be very thin and girls can never been too thin in this town. I love the female form - but - come on - too much collar bone is disturbing.
But, it seems that every Japanese guy in Tokyo wants the thinnest "smart" girl he can get.
Fairly quickly their relationship seemed clear to me. She pretended to sleep with her head on the table. In a cute voice she complained about not understanding her chemistry homework. He was wearing headphones that he would take off, talk to her for a second, put his headphones back on and go back to his homework.
He is the boss in that relationship. That was clear. And - muscles or not - this 40 year old bald white guy seemed to make him a bit insecure.
We were at a big table near the window. I wonder if he thought I chose this spot because of his girl. At first his girl was sitting there alone before I arrived. She had nothing to do with my decision. Near the window give me the best signal for wi-fi.
She got annoyed that he kept ignoring her so she - in a way quite unusual for a sober Japanese girl - put her hands all over him. On his chest - leaning over with a hand in each of his on his shoulders - touching the side of his head - her hands on his right forearm (It's hard to write if somebody is doing that). I was jealous at first - but then I could see how silly it was.
To remind me that she was his - he did something that was also unusual for someone sober. He leaned over - kind of fondled her breasts and pulled her top taunt. This is mine!
Whatever.
In the space of fifteen minutes he did it three times.
Finally she had a victory. She leaned over and put her head right into his lap. She snuggled there. I think it was clear to all three of us: a chubby girl wants something in her mouth. She sat up. He adjusted her top yet again and within a few minutes they left.
"burikko" means a girl that is overly girlish. Some Japanese guys really like it. It makes me gag.
Aug 07 - crusin' Dublin.
I'm about to check out the galleries of about 200+ people with accounts at deviantart who have this: "current residence Dublin" on their profile.
The "low-tech" graph that is coming is a highly unscientistic and crude effort to show the ages of deviantart people in Dublin. Mistakes have been made - but - let's face it - who cares?
A friend of mine thought I collected the ages - the ages were just there - and I wondered if everybody was younger then I was.
I converted:
- roman numbers (example: XXVI)
- numbers written out (example: nineteen)
- etc.
to their decimal equivalents.
I don't know how to squeeze a graph into my blog. And HTML and css are lame. So lame. They really are. Eventually they will be replaced - but at that point - nobody will care. Reading will be passe. The web cam era is coming.
Also I wish microcrap would collapse too. Be totally destroyed - like Mordor. I'm not going to deal with excel. The hell with with all that crap! Here's a "low-tech graph" - nobody is paying me for my efforts anyway(s). I can't remove the extra paragraph marks - oh well...
Each "block" - is a person that age. The graph starts with people at age 11 and goes to people 36 years old. I didn't notice anyone 30 or 31 years old with a current residence in Dublin at deviantart.
-11
-12
---13
---114
-------15
------------------16
-------------------17
---------------------------18
--------------------------19
-------------------20
------------------21
---------------22
-----------------23
----24
-------------25
-------26
-----27
--28
---29
30
31
---32
-33
-34
-35
-36
| And there were 11 people of |
18, 16, 15, 15, 14 |
I feel old.
Aug 06 - "Overdetermined" / Van Halen
I realized - just recently (How can it be just recently?) - that many artists never develop their skills since they lack a willingness to experiment and to fail.
About two months ago I was looking around on the Net and I came across the work of a photographer who seemed to only take photos of bands - performing and at rest. I didn't know anything about her - I guessed she did freelance stuff for magazines.
She had a bunch of websites. And I bookmarked them all. I had to do that. She did a lousy job of showing the links to her four sites. For experience I know that there's nothing worse then going to somebody's site and remembering "They have another site.... But where is it?" Many people forget all that you should make our sites clearly connected.
In any event time passed. I looked at lots of art, all kinds of art at deviantart -
- and did so everyday. I started to realize the weakness of her photos. I don't know if she used digital equipment - but I bet that she did.
And digital equipment make it embarrassingly easy. On thing is - so much is done for you - auto-focus and auto this and auto that. And other thing is that memory cards and (and maybe an extra battery) allow the photographer to take a gigantic number of photos.
It's easy to go to a performance point your camera and let the performer, the lights, the dry ice (and the cigarette smoke if it's a small venue) make the photo happen. If you take 200 photos and if 1 in 20 pleases you - then you have 20 photos that you can then "edit" as necessary in programs like photoshop.
All of this comes to mind since I just looked at her blog. And there were two non-musically related photos. Both of them were bad. I guess she took them out the window (or the roof?) of her apartment. Her blog states that's she's leaving New York.
She states that she was very proud, but very low on income.
She might have taken the first photo from her roof. It's the skyline of nearby buildings. It was under-exposed. Which reminds in of some of my recent efforts. In my euphoria (I've got a camera!) some of the photos I took were underexposed. But I've only been using my camera about 5 weeks.
The photo had other problems. It also needed to be cropped and there was a wire in the right upper corner of the photo. Simply amateurish.
The other is - to use current English - "random". I suppose she pointed her camera while standing on the balcony of her apartment. It's the kind of snapshot people who know nothing about photography take.
I don't know if I have any artistic ability and I'm struggling. But I learned from her failure. I know crap when I see it. You can't "force" a photo to happen. No guitarist is floating in space with a spotlight on him in the sky near her building.
She second photo could be changed all around in photoshop - or she could have made a sketch of it or something - but the photo itself is as lame as a musical track out of key and out of time.
You cannot breathe life into a corpse.
Recently I took about 130+ photos in the space of a 24 hour period. Most of the were yet more experiments involving long exposure at night. I'll play around with them - photoshop them - experiment with them.
I am going to keep trying to find my way. She never did. I think many people never really do. By the way - If you know me - you can send me a message and I'll give you the link to the "photographers" blog.
And - off the subject (or is it?) - I can't stop listening to early Van Halen - Van Halen I in particular. Damn Eddie could play. And the harmonies and David Lee's yodeling and faux accent.
Most bands would have ruined a brilliant start by starting out the album with the monster guitar solo Eruption. Van Halen wisely did not do that.
What never fails to amuse me - even after so many many years - is the very first few seconds of the first track. It starts off - not with drums, or bass or David Lee bragging or even Eddie wailing on the guitar as nobody else ever did. No.
About 11 seconds that begin with a fade in of a bunch of car horns blasting.
Aug 03 - a couple I saw at a restaurant at lunch a few days ago
She was maybe half-Japanese. She was tall. Very tall. She had a on a black dress scooped out low in the front with distracting cleavage. I almost poked myself on my upper lip with my fork. It was scooped out in the back too. Boy, was it. Black high heeled sandals with ribbons around her ankles. Her eye make-up was a bit overdone. Racoonish. But I have a fondness for that tawdry look. And she had a black and white scarf with a pattern of black skulls on it. She was in her early 20s probably.
He was a successful salaryman on his day off. Nikes, jeans, blue polo shirt and some kind of hideous Gucci fanny pack to show he's got cash. I bet he's a mid level exec somewhere. He was likely in his early 40s.
She seemed to put all the food in her mouth into her cheeks and she ate like a chipmunk. That was a bit disgusting. When their drinks were empty, he got up and refilled them. Girls usually do that in Japan and the restaurant is not fashionable. Hardly. It's fairly cheap and all-you-can-eat. He must be afraid of losing her and there's always somebody else with more cash.
My guess is that he told the wife he was going to play golf (It was Sunday here in Japan). They meet so he can have sex and she can get stuff: a new handbag, a new watch, etc.
July 28th about 10.30pm - Myspace is small. / I am large.
I was going to post this at my Myspace group in a thread called "What did you see today?". Well - I can't. The site hasn't worked for hours. Murdoch must be annoyed - has the ax fallen. Are people getting fired? I had a theory that Myspace is held together with duct tape. Is that thought actually true? Is Myspace held together that way?
1
Sorry! an unexpected error has occurred.
This error has been forwarded to MySpace's technical group.
2
The Function that you are currently trying to use is disabled and will be back shortly.
We are making some minor changes to this section please bear with us until we can get this back online.
Please do NOT email me about this. Just wait it out. 7/28/2006 -Tom
3
An error has occurred trying to send this message. Possible causes are:
Error inserting message into MailInbox. (!--els1mwebblu0188--)
---
4
I saw the text of something that I wasn't able to post - again and again and again and...
5
The myspace splash screen as I tried to sign in again and again and...
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An aside.
I've learned that in the anonymity of the Net I tend to be more obnoxious than I am in real life. I'm good at belittling people at Myspace. It's the kind of a skill a angry right-wing hack (or hawk) might be proud of. Lately I've read so much on the situation in and around Israel and I've noticed the similarity. I don't want to be anything like those people.
However, I reserve the right of massive retaliation if attacked. And since a minor skirmish at Mysapce easily becomes a firefight - I'll still have plenty of opportunities to take out the big guns. I know: I just contradicted myself.
"Do I contradict myself? Very well then I contradict myself, (I am large, I contain multitudes)." - Walt Whitman
How to see the common ground while bombs are landing around you
At the moment there is very limited interaction between Lebanese and Israelis. It is unreasonable to believe that this will change instantly with the cessation of violence, however human stories need to get out and in forums where Lebanese and Israelis are able to come together - in online chat rooms, in comment sections of regional newspapers, and in the diaspora - interaction must be encouraged and enabled.
I have nothing to add to that.
July 27th about 2.30pm - my mood
How about my statement that "my blog won't necessarily reflect my mood"? It certainly has reflected my mood recently. Has it ever. Well - this is an very unusual time for me.
About 14 hours ago made a final decision that I would never visit Israel. Up until then I thought that I might change my mind. I will not change mind now.
A few hours ago I read yet another "Israel must win" article. "Israel must do whatever is necessary to..."
No.
Yesterday, Israel killed at least 3 (probably 4) UN observers. They were not "in the line of fire". They were not "human shields" (what a horrid phrase). No. They were in their bunker. A bunker that's existed for 20 years.
It seems that Israel had been shelling the area around them for hours. The UN contacted the Israeli government. Repeatedly. To no avail.
One of the missiles that the Israeli military/government made a direct hit on the bunker killing them.
I have never had religious faith. But Jerusalem was always in my heart. I do not mean that I only considered Israel in some abstract way. Israel was a place that I hoped to visit one day. To see the whole country. All of it. Everywhere that was "safe enough". Whatever "safe enough" means.
I will never go now. I want nothing - nothing - at all to do with the physical place. Nothing.
When was it - a week ago - more (?) - that I read that Elie Wiesel went to a rally to support Israel actions. I spoke a lot in anger about him in a blog I took down. I am trying - and mostly failing - to remain hopeful about the situation in Lebanon etc.
"Etc." means that I have started to wonder about how life is in Gaza and how people who are not Jewish are treated in Israel.
I hope Elie Wiesel is changing his mind. I hope that the deaths of the UN observers has been important to him. He is a peace activist after all.
Sometimes I call Judaism "my tribe". I've been using that phrase a lot recently. Up until a few weeks ago I was proud to be a Jew. I still want to be proud of my tribe, but with each passing day I find that pride leaving me.
How many Jews in the public eye are willing to go public and say that Israel has gone too far? I read that about one third of the dead Lebanese were children. And now Israel is willing to murder - yes, that's what they did - murder UN observers - in front of the eyes of the world. You interfere with "our" problems - we'll kill you.
Consider this - how many killed by the Israeli military over the years were actually murdered?
I have no answers. I only have more and more questions.
I was on the web - and despite myself - I read a blog that linked itself to google news via a "commentary" on Lebanon. The site calls itself truthdig.
There are no links in this bit. And you will see why.
Of course it was spam. After I clicked it I should have left. It took me all of about 20 seconds to see that "The deadliest day for Israel" was merely a 40 word summary with copy and pasted article from the Washington Post.
And then this:
Looking to make sense of the roots of this carnage? Read _spam_site_ contributor Chris Spammers’ new piece “Israel’s Barrier to Peace”.
And - since I was there - I poked around.
There was an article by a guy plugging his book on atheism. I couldn't resist reading a bit and leaving my two cents. I was there and I have learned commenting immediately on a blog is useful for me as a writer.
As is typical with spam masquerading as something "intellectual" sensationalism rears its head. Such articles and site are always the same. The seemly gigantic number of these sites disgusts me.
The words "rape torture kill" appear in the second sentence. The victim is "a little girl". And the agent of the grotesque acts "a man". The third line starts with "if" and then come the details that the example is a sort of statistical represent nation of events that are occurring.
Sheesh. Well. At least he made it clear in the first paragraph that he started off in a kind of fiction and non-fiction haze.
Then he mentions "statistical laws" that show that her parents are likely religious. Then comes the statistic that 87% of Americans "never doubt the existence of God" and blah blah blah. A linkage to this. And a linkage to that.
I stopped reading.
This was my comment:
---
I read a few paragraphs: spurious argument.
Even if every single human being became an atheist after they went to sleep and woke up that does not mean human beings would be any better off.
Generosity, kindness, respect, decency - those concepts - aid all human beings.
Why aren't their nouns for people who believe in those words? Eh?
July 13, 2006 - Make a Little Star
Peel off the petals
From a cherry tree blossom
Make a little star
Took lots of photos today. I posted 11 at my myspace group.
click me - set 01 photo thread
And one or two here or there at different places at myspace. I'm not going to spam - but I am going to see how much exposure I can get. I have to. My job is killing me. I can't do it anymore. I just can't. Sitting in a room and blah-blah-blah. Trying, again and again, to fix a thousand broken things.
Boy, have I busted my ass creating methods that work in Japan - but I can't fight a system that's supported by hunreds of millions of dollars of revenue each and every year.
"Two Minutes English! You can!" Right. You can fail! It never fails to amaze me:
- How bad books about English are.
- How little actual English they contain.
- How well they sell.
I've seen a few people with a new book called sometihng like "Wao" - I thought it was to study Chinese - but no - eikaiwa is written on the cover. Eikaiwa literally means "English conversation" - but the single word explains all that is wrong with English in Japan.
I had to avoid getting angry at the bookstore. I went to a bookstore near my apartment - one of the largest in all of Japan. Keep that in mind: one of the largest in all of Japan.
They didn't have a single solitary book on photography in English. When it comes to English the Japanese are insane. That's the only way I can describe it.
But it's not the clerks fault that there are so few "real" books in English. And that they carry about two dozen different crappy titles about the minutae of The Da Vinci Code.
I sat down in frustration - well, at least that store has the unheard of in Japan: chairs! The clerk was very kind - unasked - he went over to the magazines and came over to me with a couple magainzes on photography in English and said "We have these..."
Learning a foreign language is not like learning mathematics or chemistry. You must use it if you really want to improve. It seems to me that it would be useful for Japanese people to - maybe - buy a book (in English or bi-lingual) on a subject that they are interested in - whatever it is: photography, cooking, sewing, motorcycles - to improve. There aren't even bi-lingual books like that.
Bi-lingual books do exist with titles like "American business methods", "What American school children learn", "Learn all you can about American custom". And - as could be expected - the text are either hopelessly ponderous or, well, hopeless.
Oh, I forgot - there are other bi-lingual books written with titles like "Karen teaches you English" - Karen being some white American woman who likes to use exclamation points.
"I never had yakitori before! And my hosts were so kind! I thought you said "yaKItoRI", but they taught me you say "ya/key/to/ri"! It's like American shish kabob only much much smaller!"
Karen, come on. They "taught" you or did they "tell" you. English speaking authors themselves seem to start to use Japanese-English too!
And every month dozens more shitty books on eikaiwa are published and added to the pile.
If I were to tell a student (who was interested in photography) something like "Read a book in English on photography." he couldn't just go to the bookstore or library and have a look. And - haha - even if the books existed he would never read them.
The number of books and dictionaries to study English at the bookstore I went to could fill up all the space at small used bookstore.
What's the point in buying a dictionary on English if English is nothing more than a toy? Nobody uses it here for anything. Bilingual Japanese people might read this blog - well - call it humor. And if you don't get it - if you don't get me - "go directly to jail - do not pass go".
Oh, how silly of me. English is used sometimes! Oh, there's a foreigner - time to English! To the back of head! I will show off!
I was in the elevator at the bookstore going up to the floor with books in English and a couple of 20 something guys were in there too. One guy suddenly blurted out - in English - in a strange over emphasized cartoony deep voice "THE weather IS fine TOday." to his buddy.
Try to lead me down the path? No, I will not go. I did nothing. I looked straight ahead. They were behind me. Slight pause. And since there was no "reaction" on my part - the guy said "I've been studying English conversation" in Japnese - of course, of course, of course - to his buddy.
Man, I was pretty close to turning around and just smacking him. Hard. Very hard. With my palm on his forehead, but I continued to look straight ahead until they got off. Doors closed. I was alone. I cursed.
June 12, 2006 - "I got a Nikon camera..."
---
When is 70 as close as 10?
Eh? Boys and girls.
---
"I got a Nikon camera, I love to take a photograph
So mama don't take my Kodachrome away..."
- Kodachrome by Simon and Garfunkel
---
"People think, God laughs."
The proverb/idiom goes
I want a woman
who can answer this
for me
What happens when
God thinks?
---
The quote is Yiddish.
---
Which is worse to die
or have all your dreams die
on you
If you answer quickly
You lie
---
The sun is very very far away
can it warm my heart
cold as stone
---
Stone.
Stone in Love.
Shit, I should just stop kvetching and download 'Stone in Love" by Journey. Crappy/good 80s rock might cheer me up.
---
God - that's right you
creator of the universes and all
that is beyond human imaging
I'm warning you.
You let me down again and
I might convert.
To what?
Whatever - out of spite
what does it matter?
---
I've been thinking a lot about Judaism, nationalty and language recently.
---
When you're 40. I just bought a Nikon D70.
June 11, 2006 - Do not resusciate
That tattoo belongs to an 80 year old woman named Mary Wohlford who lives in Iowa.
click me - the article in the Des Moines Register
June 27, 2006 - Alice in Wonderland and an escalator
Down highway 66
In the rain.
2 am. Going 100.
Sunglasses on.
Two 6-packs were at his feet
but there are only 5 cans left.
He drives.
The beer runs out.
He falls asleep.
This was like a fractal. It started in another form and it mutated. I thought it was going to some kind of joke about "secret agents". Not to be. It's easy to put little things in a blog. [hums] I'm so creative. Really. I'm so very creative...
I'm going to have to do more. I'm starting to feel the need to call myself a "writer" and an "aritst". Perhaps that's ridiculous. Perhaps? Haha. And I know from my time in the salt mines that random bits - here and there look more creative than they really are. I stay far far away from any 20 something white guy in Tokyo with a guitar. Out of time, out of tune, inspid lyrics, bad rhymes.
= My bands gonna play...
= Oh really. Where's the gig? Maybe I'll show up.
Uh, huh. And maybe I won't. I amuse myself. The chance of it happening is slightly, only slightly higher then the chance I will commit seppuku. The samurai didn't cry, but I sure do. Could I intentionally cut myself with a knife? I could, but I'd cry.
I wrote this at a coffee place in an office building. There is an escalor about 10 meters from where I am sitting.
And as I was looking at the screen - a minute before I had typed out "... I'd cry."- a Japanese girl/woman came up the escalators dressed like Alice in Wonderland. How old was she? 20? 25? 30? Older?
That's not spontaneous ficton/ranting - that's literally what happened. I was - and this is no lie - about to type up "In this place everything - or do I mean 'so many things' - are upside down." And up the escalator she comes, in her white frilly dress, gleaming low shiny oh so shiny pumps, white stockings to mid thigh with tiny black triangles on the sides and as she turned and walked away I noted that she had hair down to her ass.
I love the absurd I do. But when people ask me "Why do you stay in Tokyo if you often hate it so much?" How can I give them a throwaway line - conversation needs throwaway lines and cutsy conceits - that I stay here for moments like that. I'm in a place that where a girl/woman can suddenly come up an escalator dressed like Alice in Wonderland.
Man do I hate small talk. And even the Net is starting to lose its charm and this blog too I may as well be talking to myself. I'm thinking that I tried too hard - despite myself - to make onlines friends. I could have more success if my blogs were shorter, had pictures and a "Japan/Tokyo" theme. Nothing like this. It requires a bit of effort.
It's so easy for a writer to be bitter - toiling away alone. Writing is a collaberative act - but a writer's thoughts can be difficult. They don't show up for rehearsal on time. They want to change the song. They want to change the words.
At least a musican - no matter how bad he is - gets immediate attention for his efforts.
An aside - I hate traditional Hawaiian music with a passion that surprises me. It's playing in the background and although my headphones are on my head the music has stopped and I don't want to stop this stream of consciousness. Ah, fuck it.
click to learn about "mechanical empathy"
Call me old fashioned. I'd perfer a woman.
June 27, 2006 - Random thoughts , etc
- ad (Japanese ad): It's not bad to be greedy.
- Art needs to breathe. Does it? Did Emily Dickinson die a virgin?
- blog. Usually no-blog = nothing-to-say. See " Neo-liberalism girl"
- bread crumbs: I think of them when I am "lost" in a fractal.
- dream: I used google in a dream. I wish I could remember the search string and the urls of the hits.
- Electricity: "Shaft" (?) "Shaw" (?) I want to make love to the song. And lip-sync the words. Giggle all the while too. "Kissing a lover, kissing a lover, kiss like pain" Syrupy yet biting (guitar part). Shhhhhwa, Shhhhwa, shlewwwwwwwwwwwwww. Syrupy is a great word. It syrupy. Over the side of pancakes. Electricity, I've listened to it over and over again while writing this - the singer sounds - wasted and barely able to sing. Did they prop him up, pump him fill of things to counteract the drugs and do take after take to record it? "Our love is bigger than the universe..." dah, dah, dAh, dah.... "Ah...A ha...."
- foreign people: What's with some other foreign people here? They become more Japanese than the Japanese themselves. They live in fear of making any kind of contact with me whatsoever. Heaven forbid a millisecond of eye contact is made. Heaven forbid.
- hot water: [Something too honest was here. "If..." is all that remains.] If... The Japanese use "you" - the veneer of English. "Yu" means hot water. The character is written on a very tall chimney in the middle of a residential neighborhood down the street from my apartment. Can you imagine why? Consider it and then highlight the black box: The chimney belongs to a sento - a communal bath - a dying custom in Japan.
- Mike. The Kentucky intellectual I met on Myspace. I wonder what happened to him. He appeared out nowhere and then disappeared. Mike - if you're reading this get in touch.
- monkey show - I see one about once every few weeks. Literally. I'm not saying that for effect. I should write a short story about them.
- Neo-liberalism girl - [broodings deleted]. Take ur awful messaging n go, girl. im an adult, shame on ma self. [ranting deleted]... u never read ma blog anyways.
- Noise pollution in Tokyo: yak yak yak yak! Sheeesh. Is no one annoyed by all that shrill barking through highly overloaded speakers but me? How is that possible!
- putzes: the Henry Rollins quoting crowd - chips on their shoulders. And people that quote Nietzsche "What doesn't kill you..." whether or not they know who they are quoting. It's amazing to be that people don't even bother to learn where the quotes they use come from.
- Siren song of porn can be heard, but I want the bosom of domesticity. I love that word: bosom. And that lyric "Everyone needs a bosom for a pillow." I sure do.
- Suede: I love some songs by the band (Trash, Electricity, etc), but why do they remind me of a car running out of gas? Is it the singer's voice? They certainly aren't tight. There is an unaccountable sloppiness there. And there are songs like: Metal Mickey and So Young. Man, I can't listen to them. A mess. Like driving by a bloody car wreck. It's like watching someone hurt themselves.
- Theroux: How can it be that Paul Theroux has never - ever - to my knowledge - in his travel writing written about getting robbed, losing something or making a mistake?
- tiredness: If I don't give passion soon... (I'm leaving the typo. Or do I mean typos?)
- title: A cold wind blows (in... )
- void: Those that crave the void do not boast about it. A read a blog and he wrote "God, I love to drink."
- Why does an AIDS office down the street from me have large uncurtained windows? No Japanese person wants to be seen anywhere near a place like that as it is. Somebody decided not to put curtains up.
- Why does Japan attract people who don't want to grow up?
- Why is ununderstandable not a word?
fractalish thoughts
cellular organisms / contrails / curvy female / fireworks / fishnets (ah) / flowers / horizontal lines / jelly fish / neon clouds / neo-paisley / netting / oil on water / pentagons / radar screens / rain on a window pane / sand dollars / smoke circles / solar emissions / spherical 3-D effects / vertical lines / wind tunnel tests /
These were in my notes - why?
- Johnny's Jimsho and a brass player
- Japanese trance
- Japanese guys shopping with their girlfriends
z
I just posted my first tutorial. I wonder how it will be received. It was on z. If you want to read it - just use the link at the top. The link follows the word "tutorial" in the header.
June 27, 2006 - Ultra Fractal
comment {
1. I hate this program I really do.
2. One is an vast understatement.
}
UF is about the most powerful and useful fractal program I know of. But, man. I swear at it regularly. I haven't sworn so much since I was a teenager. The problem is that it was designed by mathematicans for mathematicans. The complexity makes it the valuable tool that is. But - when I was brand new to the program I spent about an hour - an hour (!) stuck in the help section unable to make progress. I am not stupid nor am I lazy when working on something. But I certainly am no mathematican.
So I've decided to make some things in this journal "experimental" have I? Well, I guess that's okay. At least it stopped me from sticking a 1,000 word rant at Microsoft and another 1,000 word Bukowski-like "short story" into my blog. Bukowski? Sheesh.
I must remember to slow down. It's getting hotter, not warmer, hotter in Tokyo. I have a habit of walking at the same pace regardless of the temperature. And that's a mistake in the slurpy Tokyo mugginess that will be here. If you don't know what I mean by "slurpy" - well just go into a sauna wearing a business suit.
I was talking to someone and she talking about writing "by hand". I thought that was interesting. How quickly the digital world is replacing vocuabulary that has existed for eons. And I started to think about "3-D". Fractal animations are beginning to feature animation. This means that - not to far into the future 3-D 'stuff' will be within the reach of anyone with a ordinary computer. Will people start to refer to a visual 'flat' image as 2-D? Will 3-D become the norm. Consider it.
Compare the number of people that go to museums or look at art to the numbers of people that watch TV.
A friend told me "You disappear." I told her that's true: I do. I certainly do.
Photoshop. I made my first fractal that i might actually put in my gallery at deviantart. I used Ultra Fractal to make it. The image had some ugly hair-thin lines that looked awful. I considered rendering the image and then fixing it in photoshop, but I changed my mind. Photoshop can be more like a crutch than a tool.
I spent 30 minutes and I finally figured out how to remove the lines. The image looks slightly different, but since the image is "math" there are millions of permutations anyway. I am going to try to resist the urge to photoshop stuff that isn't working.
June 21, 2006 - Why Jack Kerouac and emo are shit
Born into a world of anxiety
and the guilt burden
Run faster
Try harder
Be more
Be so much more
I was emo
so long before
the word
I have failed
in a dozen endeavors
without love I don't
see how I can
make one more day
go by
Existance
the void
this sure is bad
but the words
I hardly edit them
just drive forward
The chorus should be:
Run faster
Try harder
Be more
Be so much more
I went to college
a few years with a
guy who's a buddy
of Tom Cruise
Really.
Why compare myself
to him? You don't have
to be Jewish to understand
or do you?
Currently listening to - as I typed this out the first three songs on the Suede's CD Coming Up.
- Trash
- Filmstar
- Lazy
What a choice for sponteous prose. Haha!
June 13, 2006 - At least their hearts are in the right place
I'm in a coffee place and there was that kind of whiney Green Day inspired pop-rock. I couldn't hear the lyrics but I did manage to make out "What have we done? (You don't know)" repeated a few times. That kind of rant/proclaimation is typical.
I thought to myself that I'd google the words to find the lyrics to point out why that kind of music is so awful. I got a bit of suprise.
Well, whoever wrote the lyrics is no Bob Dylan, but as far as the band is concerned at least their hearts are in the right place Even though the lyrics are dreck. And the last bit is silly
"The iron fist for blood and empire, will make you move
So dance with me"
I could write this kind of stuff without too much trouble: "Death by SUV (oil for blood!)"
Confessions Of An Economic Hit Man
by ANTI-FLAG
Recruited by the NSA, my orders to talk smooth and straight
If heads of state try to say "No", I lovingly told them "Fuck you!"
The jackals lose when I cannot (get through)
There is a windfall of profit to (get to)
You better deal or we're gonna take you down
And it goes on and on and on and it goes on and on it goes
The iron fist for blood and empire, will make you move
And it goes on and on and on and it goes on and on it goes
The iron fist for blood and empire, will make you move
So dance with me
Arbenz, Mossadeq, Allende, Roldos, Torrijos, Aristide
Elected democratically, all snuffed out by the CIA
The truth will cause your heart to seize
Shed light on the true enemy
And it goes on and on and on and it goes on and on it goes
The iron fist for blood and empire, will make you move
And it goes on and on and on and it goes on and on it goes
The iron fist for blood and empire, will make you move
What have we done? (You don't know)
Until you care (You never will)
What have we done? (You don't know)
Until you care (You never will)
The crimes, the murder, unjust, unheard of
The crimes, the murder, what have we done?
And it goes on and on and on and it goes on and on it goes
The iron fist for blood and empire, will make you move
And it goes on and on and on and it goes on and on it goes
The iron fist for blood and empire, will make you move
So dance with me
June 11th, 2006 - Suede
I decided to download some Suede. I need to Tool deprogram myself, a little.
I was at wikipedia and they featured an article on the world's first computer. As in analog - with moving parts. It's about 2,000 years old. 2,000. Amazing.
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Antikythera_mechanism
June 10th, 2006 - the complete Led Zeppelin
I'm downloading the complete Led Zeppelin just to remind myself that there is more than one band in all of rock (Tool). How many hours have I listened to Tool recently. If there is a tool anonymous group - I may have to join it.
I was at deviantart and somebody's location was Cape Verde. Cape Verde?
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Cape_Verde_Islands
June 9th, 2006 - tool and epilady
I promised somebody that I'd buy a camera today. Did I. No. I... [confession deleted]
I'll change the topic to epilation (the removal of hair by the roots). Epilady is a company that calls itself "the world's first epilator". Epliday is used by women (and whoever else) to remove the hair from their legs
http://www.epilady.com/
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Adam_Jones
June 6th, 2006 - pretenious phrase
I have a feeling that I'll laugh at this later - well, it's a journal...
An excellent photo burns itself on your retina.
A good photo is a story, a poem or a joke.
A bad photo is a bore.
A terrible photo is a bore that holds you tightly by the arm.
And dreck? It isn't worth ment....
May 31st, 2006 - Zoolander phone is real (kind of)
Docomo has release its newest "pack of gum" sized phone
the link is in Japanese. You can put the link through translation....
http://www.nttdocomo.co.jp/product/foma/702i/d702i/
This is like a joke without a punchline.
I wanted to compare it to the Zoolander finger phone. That phone being a joke in a comedy and the Docomo product being a real thing.
But I tried and failed to find a pic the finger phone. If you know of such a pic send me the link in a message or post it in a comment. I'd like to finish this joke.
A while back the bags climbers use to hold anti-persperation powder were popular with guys. I never noticed a girl with one. Since the bags are designed for a unique purpose, I can't imagine that they were useful for much.
Today - I saw a couple young guys with a drumstick bags (drumstick case? / drumstick gigbag?) on the train. They must have been friends. For me Tokyo 'fashion' can get mighty odd. It is entirely possible that were drummers. but I wondered if such a drumstick bag was seen on Japanese TV series making it 'cool' to one. Will I see more?
May 30th, 2006 - first entry
I got the idea for keeping an online journal from time I had spent using my deviantart account
http://ekbworldwide.deviantart.com/
But the site puts people into a sort of straight-jacket. To the best of my knowledge:
style="inline_css_here"
is entirely disabled. Entirely! So even really basic stuff like changing the font-family or font-size is impossible. Impossible! And there are all kinds of limitations. My account is free. I wonder if the CSS stuff is turned on for paid accounts.
Well I quite like the art at deviantart so I have been doing and will be doing a lot of browsing there.
Also I retired by tiny eye avatar. I have no idea what I was thinking. Photoshop uses a tiny image that not only looks much the same - but is the same size too.
I was in a coffee place and I heard a guy 'teaching' English. This is what he told his student.
= "I've been in Tokyo six years." is wrong. You need a preposition. YOu need to say "... for six years."
You do?
I have yet to hear an English teacher - any teacher - whether they follow the "I-don't-teach-I-just-talk" school of thought or if they have a masters in English - teach those tiny little words correctly or realistically.
And speaking English is impossible without them. Even their absence is important.
